provincialbelle | (no subject)

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jacob

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This was not the birthday she had ever thought she would have. She was twenty-one years old this year, certainly not a young teenager anymore. She had responsibilities and her own life and her own home. She also had a boyfriend who was celebrating his birthday. When he had suggested taking the kayak out, she had been enthusiastic about the idea -- it was like nothing they had ever done before.

Of course, now, as she flopped around in the water, desperate to tread and keep herself above the surface, she was regretting that decision. How could she be blamed? She had reached out, trying to attract one of the butterflies that was fluttering close to her and had tipped out of the kayak. Sopping wet, she swims towards the tip, holding onto it and giving Jacob a waterlogged smile and a laugh.

"Now, how am I supposed to get back in?" she asked, lazily kicking now that she had something to help keep her afloat.

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Belle leaned in to claim the kiss she knew was waiting for her, laughing softly as she stayed close to him, her fingers lazily draped at the small of his back. "We're both getting older," she remarked, shifting her weight so as not to burden him. "Do you feel any different?"

"A little," Jacob admitted. "Mostly I feel...like this is the place I'm supposed to be. I didn't ever really feel like that back home. I was restless and always on the move. Here? I feel like I could stay here the rest of my life."

He waited a beat, then met her eyes with his. "With you."

Belle couldn't respond for a moment. She was stunned, utterly stunned and brought silent by the fact that Jacob saw a future with her and she had been picturing the very same thing. She wanted it. She wanted it as much as she didn't want the same thing with Gaston. "I love you," she said, sober and serious. "And I think...I think the same thing, I think about those same..."

She trailed off, her cheeks flushed.

"I'm not..."

Jacob took a deep breath, inexplicably nervous. He and Belle's relationship had been really easy up until this point and had even been slow, in the beginning. This was huge for them and he wanted to make sure he said the exact thing he meant so there was no room for misinterpretation.

"I'm not asking right now. But when I think about getting married, someday, and having kids, I think about those things with you."

She wasn't the young girl that she was when she first arrived. Maybe, back then, what he was saying would have scared her. The only thing it did now was make her wish that her Papa was around so that the day it did happen, he would be able to share in her happiness. "Jacob," she said, softly, and just for him. "I really would like that."

"Then...someday, we will," Jacob promised. "But I just want to make sure we're both ready before we do and I want..."

He trailed off, a little embarrassed about this part. How did someone explain how they'd made plans for a marriage that hadn't even happened yet? Especially when said someone was a guy and not a girl; at least girls were allowed to daydream about weddings.

"I want to be sure I'm going to be the husband you deserve before I start asking, is all."

She understood waiting. She wanted to wait until she was sure that she was ready for it -- ready to accept some of the tasks that a wife would be expected to do -- but she was confused at what he was saying. "I don't understand how you couldn't be," she admitted, giving Jacob a wary look. "You know I love you, deeply, and that I think you're wonderful. You know that, don't you?"

"I do. It's more a matter of providing for you and our eventual kids," Jacob said, watching her carefully.

"If, uh, you want some someday. I do, but I want you more, so I'm flexible."

She had been confronted with the idea of children before, but she had been young then and not inclined to provide Gaston with miniature versions of him. With Jacob, it was different and while it still scared her, she knew that she wanted to have a family with him.

Her arms were still wrapped around his neck and she brushed her fingers in soothing turns, kissing his lower lip gently. "I do want them someday," she admitted. "And I really would prefer if they were yours."

"Well, I'm hoping they're mine. It might be awkward, otherwise," Jacob teased, kissing her nose lightly.

"But, yeah. In the far, distant, when we're almost thirty future. Right now, I'm just happy being with you."

Belle laughed, though there was the slightest amount of worry coursing through her. She picked up one of the paddles, again, eager to get them back to shore. "Most people don't really...well, stay here that long," she said, and even though she'd spent three years on the island, she knew that she was something of an anomaly.

"There's some people," Jacob argued.

"I know there's some people who have been here almost seven years now. We might be the lucky ones. I've got two years, now, and you have three. That's a lot longer than most people ever get anyway."

It was a strange line to straddle. She didn't want to rush into kids, but she also didn't want to wait too long and then lose him. It was odd, feeling panicked about both possibilities at once. "I don't want to rush," she insisted. "I just don't want to lose you, either."

"I don't think we're ready right now," Jacob said softly. "So I want to wait. I don't want to wait too long if you're worried one of us is going to disappear? But I don't want us to rush into it and make decisions we might regret. I love you a lot, Belle, and I never want you to feel like I forced you into anything."

"No, I don't feel ready to have children," Belle assured, because that panic wasn't fading away and she still felt gripped by it at the mere thought of being pregnant. She didn't want that, not right now, but she was grateful that Jacob both wanted kids and didn't want them right now. "We'll just talk about it when we're both ready," she said pragmatically.

"Right now, though, I kind of want to celebrate our birthdays by...practicing? Practice always makes perfect."

It was probably kind of a lame way to ask her to bed but they'd been together long enough that Jacob thought maybe he could get away with it; after a certain point, being together got comfortable and familiar no matter what crazy thing you might say.

She laughed at that, enjoying the way it filled her with intense warmth. The truth was that she didn't mind the notion of practicing in the least. In fact, she even liked the idea of it. She'd been so nervous at first that now that the fear was wearing off, she finally got a chance to enjoy it. "I think we should definitely head back to shore, then. I love you, Jacob, but we're not practicing in a kayak."

"I was thinking back at your house," Jacob said, more than a little awkward. "Not uh, in the kayak. Or on the beach. I'm pretty sure we'd have to be dealing with sand for the better part of a year and that would not be fun."

And not something he'd do when they could go inside.

"Sand in my clothing is definitely not something I'm curious to discover," Belle agreed, reaching out for the paddle in order to start making her contribution towards getting back to her home. "You know," she said, feeling slightly nervous. She hadn't meant to talk about this today, but why not, really? "I cleared a drawer out. For you. It's your drawer, if you want it to be."

"Really?"

By the standard of most teenage relationships, especially Bella's, he and Belle had been going at a glacier's pace. It had been good, though, because he felt like he really knew Belle and could trust her with just about everything. Jacob thought that was an important thing to have in a girlfriend and life partner.

"I'd...love to bring some things over, then. Just a few?"

"It's just a drawer, you wouldn't have to bring much," she said, trying to force her nerves to quiet. She was practically jumping with them, mostly because she just wanted this to go smoothly. "I mean, maybe a change of clothes or two? Just so you're comfortable when you stay at my place. I'd, well, I'd really like that."

"It would make it where if I wanted to stay over a few days at a time, I could," Jacob agreed.

"But we can still keep our separate places. For now. Eventually, someday, I'd like to live with you all the time, though."

"I'd like that, too," Belle agreed, finding it odd how years after she had been with Jacob, she could still feel this heady sense of pleasure from being in his company and thinking about the future together. "Besides, I kind of like having time to read without thinking that I'm boring you. That's one advantage to being out there in our own places. For now."

"It doesn't bore me," Jacob promised, "But everyone needs their own down time. I'm sure you're glad when I get out of your hair to go hunting or fishing or diving off incredibly high objects," Jacob said, laughing. "So, yeah. For now, just sleepovers, and maybe eventually if we want to move in together, we can. I just want to take it slow and make sure we're doing things right, you know? I don't ever want to push too much."

Belle made a face when he brought up the 'diving off incredibly high objects' part. She tried her best to forget that he did that, mostly because she had a great deal of fear for that -- only compounded when Gaston's body had fallen from so high above. "Sleepovers makes it sound like we're six and sneaking around under our parents noses," she teased, helping to bring the kayak into shore as the sand loomed closer.

"Yeah and we are definitely not six," Jacob said, making his own face at that. "Apparently...there's a thing we can do, as pack members? We can imprint on someone. Just, look at someone one day and realize that's it for us, that's the one, no matter if there's an age difference or what. I was always kind of freaked out it might happen to me."

He paused for a moment and looked at Belle, eyes a little soft. "But I think, if I was still a wolf, you'd be the one anyway. That I don't ever have to worry about that."

Belle opened her mouth to comment on how strange that was, but then he had to follow it up with something as romantic as that. She softened and reached both hands out for his, grasping hold of them and tugging until they were pressed tighter together. "That's both terrifying and wonderful at the same time," she said, as honest as she could ever be -- she always wanted to be honest with him. "I love you, too."

"Oh, believe me, it's completely creepy and terrifying," Jacob agreed, laughing and tugging her close. "But I really...I've never felt about a person the way I feel about you, Belle, and I can't help but think that means we're meant for great things. Together. We're meant to be together, you know?"

"And now you're right back to being utterly romantic," she praised with a fond smile on her face, leaning into his body and letting herself drift inwards, not caring in the least that she was practically surrounded by his torso and his arms. She actually, well, she sort of liked it (and she tried not to blush and think about what that might say about her). "Back home?" she suggested.

"Anywhere," Jacob promised. "I wish, someday, you could meet my dad. And I'd like to meet yours. I want to know everything about you since I'm planning on being with you, you know?"

He gave her a little smile. "But for right now, let's just get back to shore and go back to your place. One step at a time?"

"I'd like for you to meet my Papa, too, even if he might not be sure what to make of you," Belle teased, knowing very well that her Papa would love any man who treated her well. Jacob was a gentleman and beyond and she never worried about herself, not with him around. "One step at a time sounds perfect," she agreed, doing as much work as she could with the paddle to get them back to the sandy shore.

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