provincialbelle

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jacob

Jacob

Belle had left the rave with an uneasy feeling down to her bones. She could see that others were having a good time, but it seemed just a touch too out of control for her. She had gone with Charlie and when she was sure that he had someone to go home with, she'd gone to her own home, glitter smeared all over her skin.

She hadn't eaten or drank anything and so was feeling clear-headed and a shade of tired, just slightly too weary from an environment she wasn't sure of.

When she returned to the Homestead, she knew it was late, but she still went to Jacob's room rather than her own and knocked lightly on the door, leaning her temple to the wood of the wall and waiting to see if he was awake.

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Jacob laughed and slid his hands up her back, just rubbing lightly. "Okay, maybe that has something to do with it, but they only get to look. Only you get to touch, Belle. Um...as much as you want?"

"You know I'm not jealous, right?" Belle asked, not sure that he knew. She wanted him to know that he could be friends with whomever he liked because she trusted him. "I like that you have other girls who are friends. It makes me glad to know you're well-taken care of, no matter what."

"Good thing you're not," Jacob said, laughing a little in his relief. Truth be told, he did worry about it a little; most girls would be a little jealous if their boyfriends hung around other girls all the time.

"I want...I'm ready, Belle. For the next step."

Belle furrowed her brow, but when he continued, it all made sense. And the truth was that she was ready too and had been for some time. She settled back against his thighs and took a deep breath, aware that she was nervous. "Promise me one thing," she said, critically. "This won't change us. It's just another step. We'll still be the same people afterwards."

"Absolutely," Jacob promised, smiling up at her. "Look, it's not...we've been together almost a year, give or take. I don't think this will do anything but make us stronger. I'm scared too, but I want it."

"I think we should," Belle instantly agreed, a feeling of sheer terrifying anxiety and joy coming over her at once. "Do you have any kind of protection?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, in the drawer there. I've been uh...thinking about this for a while. I was prepared."

Belle would have chastised him, but she had been having similar thoughts and so she had her own supply tucked away under her mattress. She snuck out one of the packages, handing it to him and trying to debate whether it was better for him to put it on, or her. "I'll get off so you can get ready," she offered.

"It's probably better if I do it," Jacob said, giving her an awkward look. "I'm...from everything I've heard, I don't think it's going to last very long the first time. Too much going on and everything."

He paused though, the package between his fingers. "I want to fool around with you first, though."

Belle laughed at that, unable to help herself. It just sounded so simple and silly when he put it like that. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea, either," she assured, inching closer to close the space between them.

"Might make things better," Jacob agreed, sliding one of his hands up her thigh. "Um, how do you want to do this? Both of us just get completely undressed and go from there?"

"Well," she said, her voice slightly hitched and lower. "I was thinking that maybe you could undress me?" She would like that a lot and it was something that she had spent a great deal of time thinking about.

"You think these things through better," Jacob said with a laugh, leaning in to kiss her before sliding his hands beneath her shirt. "Is this okay, Belle?"

"Jacob," she says, reaching down to press one of her hands over his, giving him a long look so that he understands. "Anything you do is going to be okay," she insists, firm and loving. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Jacob said easily, tugging her shirt up and off. "I think that makes it a little easier, knowing you love me. I can't believe I'm this nervous about it, though. I always thought it'd feel natural."

"I don't know that I thought much about it," she admitted, her fingers delicately sliding up his bare chest and tracing out the muscles and the planes of skin that she could find. "I only ever thought about fairytale kisses and what comes after everything. The future, you know?"

Jacob reached up and unhooked her bra before speaking again, easing it off with a kind of quiet wonder. She was beautiful, always had been, and this was just another side of it.

"You'll have that," he promised. "I'll make sure you do."

Belle shifted slightly in order to help him, her shoulders rolling forward so that the brassiere could fall away. She grasped the strap and set it aside on the bed, closing the distance between them so she could feel skin on skin, the way that she had been dreaming about for so long.

She eased closer with a long kiss, eyes falling shut as she indulged in the feeling of her lips on his.

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Jacob

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