provincialbelle | (no subject)

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jacob

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After several days, Belle could no longer ignore the signs. She had been so tired that she had barely made it out of bed and her muscles ached fiercely with a sort of fatigue that seemed to be warring with the swelling of her ankles for the most distracting symptom. Once she factored in the irritation and the headaches, she didn't want to do anything, let alone get out of bed.

Maybe, she reflected, it was a good thing that she was still at the Homestead. She couldn't imagine this would go over very well if she had left it. For one, no one would have found her for some time and wasn't that just a scary thought? As it was, she struggled with her bedsheets -- her body a decent temperature, but her limbs sore and she wanted to warm them -- and curled up on her side, making herself as small as she could be.

She just wanted to sleep. Maybe it wasn't right that after three days, she had spent more time asleep than awake, but she didn't care. She felt like she deserved a small break. It would all go away, she told herself. It would all fade.

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It wasn't really like Belle just to stay in bed and Jacob hadn't really seen her around much. They didn't always share, especially not since there were a lot more people in the Homestead these days but he couldn't help but feel like he ought to go check on her.

He knocked lightly on the door before pushing it in, settling on the edge of her bed. "Belle? What's going on?"

Belle roused long enough to pay Jacob attention. Her books were closed, sitting at the foot of the bed, and her hair was in disarray. She felt as though she hadn't made herself presentable in days and she certainly looked it, she was sure. "Jacob, you shouldn't come in here. I think I'm ill," she admitted.

"Yeah, which means I should be here," Jacob argued, brushing his hand back against her cheek and her messy hair to kind of smooth it a little. "How long have you been feeling bad, Belle?"

How long had it been and he hadn't noticed?

"Three days?" she estimated. It was her best guess, but the truth was that she'd been sleeping for so much of it that she had no idea how long it had actually been. "I don't know, I'm just tired, it'll go away," she protested, her words vaguely slurred.

"Three days is a long time to feel this sick," Jacob argued. "Don't you think we ought to go see Dr. McCoy or something? Maybe you're actually sick sick and need a doctor."

It sounded a little needlessly concerned but it was Belle. Nothing was ever too much.

Belle entreated Jacob with a single pleading look, not wanting to be a bother. "But I'm mostly just tired, Jacob," she said softly, reaching out with both hands in order to coax him closer. "Maybe I just need the time to recuperate. Maybe my body is just getting a cold."

"Maybe," Jacob said warily. "But when was the last time you were sick on the island? When was anyone? You have to admit, we're usually healthy most of the time."

It was kind of weird, in a way, but he wasn't going to argue against it. It was better than the alternative, anyway.

"Maybe," Belle admitted, adjusting their positions so that she could place her head comfortably on his chest, letting her lashes flutter shut as she let out a humming sound and felt herself already drifting to a more comfortably half-sleeping state. "We can go to the clinic tomorrow when I wake up," she mumbled.

"Do you promise?" Jacob asked, still keeping close. The last thing he wanted was for Belle to get sick or hurt and not get the help she needed because he didn't push hard enough.

"I love you, Belle, I don't want...I don't want to miss something big because we're being stubborn."

"I love you, too," she breathed out the words -- some of the easiest she had ever said and felt. She knew that they were true and she would happily profess them a hundred times a day because she enjoyed saying them so much. "And, for you, I'll do anything. I'll even go see a doctor," she promised, squeezing his hand gently. "Only if you promise to come with."

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't let you go alone unless you just didn't want me there and even then, I'd probably try to con you into letting Bella or Coraline go with so you didn't have to go alone," Jacob said, rubbing her back lightly.

"You never have to do anything alone as long as I'm here."

"Sometimes, I forget that," she admitted, staring at him with a sort of wonder. "I know that you're not going anywhere and I know that I trust you, but there are times that I expect to open my eyes and be back at the castle or back in my tiny little home in the village and though I'll have my Papa back, I won't have you. That's no kind of trade I actually want to make."

"I would really like to meet your Papa someday," Jacob said softly, admitting something he'd never said out loud before. "I want to know if he'd like me. I'd love for you to meet my dad, too, I think he'd love you."

Billy was one of the most easygoing men in the world, though, so it was a no-brainer that he would love Belle.

"It's only a shame that our parents can't be here," she admitted, the furrow in her brow present as always when she came across a puzzling scenario. "I mean, I know that we're only dating right now, but if we ever were to get more serious, I really would like to impress upon your father how much I adore you."

For Jacob, it felt serious. It felt like the most serious relationship he could ever have but he also knew that things were way different in Belle's world.

"I think about getting more serious sometimes. Does that surprise you?"

She shook her head, willing herself to focus past the haze that seemed to take over her mind. "No, no, it doesn't," she assured softly, because it was something that was on her mind all the time. "I think about you and me in a more serious situation. I mean, I'm not sure when we should take that step, but I do want it."

"Same. I think we're too young," Jacob said, which was kind of weird. Bella and Edward was incredibly intense at the same age and if Cullen hadn't run off on her, Jacob was pretty sure they would have ended up married.

"I think we need to be able to live a little before getting married and having kids."

Belle's brows lifted in a sluggish and seemingly lazy way. It was shock, to be sure, but it was somewhat delayed. She hadn't exactly thought seriously about kids beyond a passing fantasy of Jacob's, but now she wondered if she ought to be thinking about that more seriously.

There was also the matter to worry about because, though she hadn't told him, she had been (and was still) late. "You want kids with me?" she asked, a tentative wariness to her words, not sure how to bring up her worry that all this, all these symptoms, could be somehow related to her late timing.

"Well, yeah. Eventually, once we're married and we built a house and everything," Jacob said, unable to keep from grinning at the prospect of it.

"I've always wanted a family, Belle."

She swallowed back her nerves, aware of the fact that if the positions were somehow reversed (even if it was silly to even think of that possibility), she would want to know. "Well, what if, what if something happened and we had kids sooner than expected? Would you leave me?" she asked cautiously.

"God, no," Jacob said quickly. "We'd make it work. I would never, ever leave you. I'm not like Cullen, or something. I'm not going to leave you when you need me and I sure as hell wouldn't leave our kid."

She managed a brave smile at that, trying to hold onto that as best as she could. She just wasn't sure that she was ready for that. There was a part of her that still equated the thought of children as something Gaston wanted, even though she wouldn't have minded herself, really. "Jacob, I..." She trailed off, gnawing on her lower lip -- uncertain of whether to tell him.

"What is it, Belle?"

Jacob had a sinking feeling that maybe this being sick had something to do with, well, that and while he wasn't prepared for it, he would support her all the way.

She tensed her jaw, trying to find the courage to say what she had to. "Jacob, in all of this, in what I've been feeling -- so tired, so worn." She was unsure about all of this, but felt as though she needed to tell him. "I'm late, too."

Oh. That just complicated the hell out of things, didn't it?

"Okay, then we definitely need to get you to a doctor so we can get a test run. I'm sure Dr. McCoy can do it."

Dr. McCoy was the only clinic doctor he'd even really met; Jacob was just too healthy otherwise.

She looked at him with such anxiety about her eyes that she wasn't even sure how to put her fears into words. She didn't want to be pregnant, not now. She was too young and this wasn't supposed to be how their lives went. "And what if I am?" she asked, quietly. At the same time, she wanted to be able to prepare herself.

"Then we get ready to have a baby," Jacob said, wanting it firmly known that he wasn't walking out on her for something like that. "If you want to get married, we'll get married, but I kind of think it's not a good idea just to get married because we're having a kid."

All this talk about marriage and children was setting her on edge. She took in a forceful deep breath and wished that it was enough to spark her to be more than this lethargic shadow of herself, but it never came. Instead, she felt the same lackadaisical exhaustion. "I just want to sleep, right now," she confessed. "I don't want to think about babies or marriage. Je m'excuse, petit," she finished tiredly.

"How about this? We take a nap for a little while and then we go to the clinic? I really, really want to be sure you're okay," Jacob said, stroking her hair lightly just to try and comfort her a little bit. "And I would rather know what it is then have to wonder. No matter what it is."

"If you'll come with me, I'll go," she negotiated, because she didn't want to go, but she also didn't want to deny his requests to be ignored. "And I'm sure it's nothing," she said, but was unable to stop from being afraid. After all, what if it was something?

"Of course I'll go with you," Jacob said, voice low and soft. "I wouldn't ever let you go alone. That's not even going to be an option, I promise.

She smiled and though it was weary, she was happier than she'd been only moments ago. After all, it was a positive step forward and he was going to be there with her through all of it. "I'd like that. Very much."

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